Our Family Beginnings

Last night, I got to have a blast with my non-drinking drinking buddy, Sunny.  We made plans ages ago to go see Ingrid Michaelson, and drink ourselves a little silly.  It was almost two years ago where we both met up at Jammin’ Java to see our first Ingrid gig.  It was so great to be able to celebrate her great news with her (though I admitted that upon hearing her news, I shot an email to Mel saying ‘mother FUCKER!’ about my bad luck).  She’s been through so much this year, that no matter what happens, this is beyond a blessing.  I promised her that if she’s carrying quads, I will visit her on hospital bedrest, and drink from a bottle of wine and taunt her with it.  I know she would do the same for me.

The concert was fab.  We got to meet Ingrid before the show, though I felt terrible for her.  She was definitely sick, and her nose was all red and sniffly.  She was a sport though and took pictures with us.

There was also a ton of static at the show, and during a few of the numbers, poor Ingrid got shocked.  It was loud enough that Sunny and I could hear it pop.  Over and over…  At least she laughed about it!

We also made friends with the so dubbed “Hot Mike” who got his name from the shocks Ingrid kept getting.  She said, that it gave new meaning to having a hot mic, and Mike in front of us yelled that his name was Mike.  Ingrid asked him if he was hot, since she couldn’t see him with all the stage lights.  There was a whole story that ended up with Ingrid saying that Hot Mike Doesn’t Like Vagina, but you had to be there.  He was that guy – the one who thought he was charming as fuck, but was really just a tool.  We, and his female friends that he was there with, made him our bitch for the night.

It was a perfect evening, and I just adore Sunny to pieces.  The setlist was totally solid, but I bet that she cut it a bit short due to her total misery of illness.  She played a few new songs, but one of them just was amazing, and I’ve included that, as well as one of my faves that she did not do below.

Locked up – the new song:

Something More – another newish song that she didn’t play last night:

The Chain – which is on her newest album “Be Ok” on itunes – I adore this song, and am such a sucker for close harmony:

I am loved.

For me to a) admit that and b) really believe it to be true is a testament to hard work in therapy over many years.  I know I was whining about feeling weird about deserving things and what not with my birthday, but that’s where having amazing friends come in.  Specifically Mel, but all of my local TOOTPU girls, friends from afar, and non-ifers who I’ve known forever.

That icon above is exactly what went through my mind yesterday as I got to my friend’s place for a Wii party – or at least I thought it was.  I saw my friend A snickering at me, which I thought was about something else entirely.  Then I saw Bean.  I thought to myself, ‘who here knows her besides me?!’.  Then I turn my head, and Leah is next to me. That’s when it started making sense.  I was set up.

Mel had mentioned a while back that she wanted to throw me a ‘Paper Pregnant Party’.  I thought it was a cute idea, but I’m not one to much celebrate myself, so I figured – power to her if she wants to do that.  But this was back in August at least when the concept was brought up.  It’s not like I was expecting anything.  But apparently plans began shortly after that conversation, culminating in worlds colliding…all in celebration of me.

I have no idea how all the Tootpu girls, my other friends, and Mr. Badger all kept this a secret for 6 weeks.  And it wasn’t even something I had a remote suspicion about.  Oh no, this was a total shockeroo for me.  I was totally stunned, and awed.  Of folks you may know (or are) – Mel, Bean, Leah, and Jen were all in attendance.  Shelby has a sick son and couldn’t come, New mom-to-be Sunny had a cold – but I get to see her tomorrow for the Ingrid Michaelson concert (woot!).  I know other of you – Perky and Meghan and Lori, wanted to be there too – but trust me girls, you were all there in spirit.

There were two of the most touching displays of affection ever.  One, everyone had to say one thing that they love about me, and I had to guess who it was.  I was pretty bad at it until I got to Leah, who always remarks on my hair.  Having all of that positive energy reflected back on me?  It was humbling and beautiful.  It may be the best birthday gift ever, honestly.  Also, all of the attendees wrote out cards in sealed envelopes for me and Mr. Badger to read when we are on the way to pick up our baby-to-be.  They’re all tied up in a pretty ribbon waiting for the call.  Mel’s collecting more too, and I’m not whoring out for anyone to write one,  but this woman…everyone should have a Mel.

I’ve known her for two years now, and I don’t know how I got through the first 30 without her.  She’s become an amazing sounding board for me and someone who I can’t thank enough for all the love and support and shenannigans we have together.  Mel, you are truly one of my dearest friends, and I am so very thankful for you, J, ChickieNob, and Wolvog every day.

To all my friends who were there in body or spirity, thank you from the bottom of my heart.  I can’t wait for us to bring home a bundle of joy to share with all of you.

I had lunch with a friend yesterday, and he and I both agree that we are leading very dull lives at the moment.  That’s actually not a bad thing.  He’s totally my brother from another mother, and so excitement isn’t always what it’s cracked up to be.

We haven’t heard any more on the adoption front.  On most days, I’m fine with it.  I suspect though, as the holidays have been getting closer and closer, it’s bugging me more and more.  It’s not even just the holidays, as the holidays also blend seamlessly with my birthday.

I’m a birthday person, kinda.  I want it to be this big deal, but at the same time I feel unworthy when I am the center of attention.  It’s far more comfortable to whine about wishing I was the center of attention than it is for me to be the center of attention.  I never said I wasn’t a weirdo.

Anyhow, Mr. Badger asked what I wanted to do for my bday this year (which happens to be on Thanksgiving), and I said “Nothing.”  He luckily is fluent in Lindsay speak and knows that I am full of shit on that one.  I said to him that it isn’t about being older, I don’t mind that at all.  It is, however, another year.  Another. Year.  That drives me up a wall.  Another year of “this will be our year”.  And yes, I get that this year, in all likelihood will in fact be our year, but still…

So I’m pretty boring right now.  Nothing going on at work.  Nothing really going on in the family.  It all just is.  I haven’t had much to say, which sucks, because today?  I’d rant and rave about waiting.  But I don’t want to leave you with the impression that it gets to me on a daily basis.  Just today for some reason.

There’s only one thing I really want for my birthday.  If I wish really hard, do you think I’ll get it?