Why other moms suck, or Hell Is Other Women
What a provocative little header I put up there, no?
Let me put out there that a) No, I do not actually think all other mothers suck b) that the story I am going to tell is unique to moms. However, I do think that men waging wars all over the globe over the size of their dicks have nothing on catty mothers. Mothers can be the atomic freaking bomb of interpersonal relations.
I do this workout outside and in bad/cold weather at the local mall before it opens. Moms bring their strollers and resistance bands and little ones, and we do a 1-hour cardio and resistance class. It’s fun, and a decent workout. We sing songs to the kids as we do bicep curls, and get out of it what we put into it. Trust me, it’s a good workout.
Because V’s had this thing of napping about 10 minutes before we would leave for class, I hadn’t gone in a few weeks. I decided to capitalize on the time change and get back to class. It was a good class, and in the middle, I felt this sudden burst of energy and took off on one of our running laps. It was a total sprint. I heard one woman snarkily mumble to another “geez, no need to show off!” and I knew it was directed at me. I didn’t turn around because I honestly didn’t want to know who had said it. What was going through my head was, “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that the instructor said that judging other mothers for working out at their workout was the holding pattern.”
My dear friend, E’s Mama, has said that motherhood is not a competitive sport. I wish it were so. I wish I could say that I never did similar things to others, but I am sure I do. Anyone who thinks they don’t judge others really is in denial.
Another adoptive momma blogger wrote a few weeks ago about how she doesn’t fit in with her pre-baby friends, and she doesn’t really connect well with other moms. I remarked that it’d be great if ALI parents could just have our own little island sometimes. I can’t tell you how much I treasure my DC blogger friends, and the extended bloggers who I’ve been lucky enough to either meet in person or talk to on the phone. I just find that as a group, there is less (though clearly not an absence of) judging and more openness to life experiences.
Thanks to all of you who, over the last three years, have held us up, hugged us in person or virtually, or even just read silently and said, “me too”.
And this post get a BIG, FAT, AMEN SISTA!
You are so right that we kidding ourselves if we think we don’t judge others. I try to take a “to each their own,” opinion of other mothers, but that isn’t always easy. What I find interesting is I find a special kinship with mothers like “us”-one free of judgment or competitiveness. That tends to be reserved for the ones it came easy for. Which isn’t right, but it happens.
Thank you!
Thats why I wish we could all move into one big community and have schlubfest all year round=)
And THANK YOU–I couldnt have made it through the last 2 1/2 years without your friendship!
or even just read silently and said, “me too”.
I love this. I agree that b/c we have been greatly challenged the petty things in life just are not important.
I would move to that island.
I’m so glad I’ve met you in person. Excited to see you again. But I fear I won’t want to leave our hotel-island.
I’d be the first one on the ferry to the island, trust me. In the meantime, I wish I had been in that workout group. After I was done performing my best Arsenio Hall impression, complete with fist pumping (WOOT! WOOT! GO LINDSAY!!), I would have then turned my fists on that bitchy, catty, useless witch of a hag that sneered at you. She sucks. I bet someone spit in her latte that afternoon. Hopefully.
I imagine this will be something I need to adjust to, also. I can’t tell you how much I seek solice in my blogroll sometimes. And I also have become friends with another waiting mom at our agency–we connect like no one else.