Our Family Beginnings

Yet again, I am embarking on an adventure. I have signed up for a half-marathon in the fall, and a training program for it that starts next Tuesday.

15 weeks.

13.1 miles.

I don’t quite have the mileage base that I need to get going, but I took a run today to catch up a bit. We shall see…training in the nastiness that is a DC summer should be interesting. Also of note, I was in this same program 5 years ago when we were starting with ART, and my doc told me to stop running. Maybe I can get my old body back too!

If you want to follow my status, I’ve added a widget on my sidebar.

I need to take these earlier so I can play more than just with picasa for the challenges. Nonetheless, I don’t get to have a workspace often. If I do happen to get a chance, it’s usually on the chaise in our living room. Voila:

From Photo Friday

What is everyone else showing? Check it out at Callie’s blog.

This is National Infertility Awareness Week.  Most of you reading my blog know that already, but maybe there are a handful of you that don’t. Mel & Resolve posted a challenge to us a few weeks back, namely to state our biggest ‘What if…’ regarding infertility.  As I (and we, once Mr. Badger came along) have traveled through family building, that has changed more than a number of times.  At first I was terrified of getting pregnant, you know, all the stuff that your health teacher warned you about in your youth? HA!  Even when we first got married, babymaking wasn’t on our mind. We had limited funds and I knew I needed to get myself in good mental and physical shape before a child entered our family.

Then, of course, infertility came along.  For us, it wasn’t a shock, since at the time I was only getting my period a few times a year. The OBGYN told me to take a pill and that’d work for us.  I was given clomid with no instructions and no monitoring. Enter my foray onto pregnancy message boards.  After the 6 months of that was up, it was on to IUIs and IVF.  As we learned about my clotting disorder and had a miscarriage, we moved from “what if we never get pregnant” to “what if we DO?!”. The grass is always greener, and once you know something, you can’t unknow it.

When we moved to adoption, it just fit. It wasn’t settling, it wasn’t a last resort. We realized it was the right choice.  And while we of course had to deal with the stress and anxiety of waiting, it was far easier than any treatment had ever been.  Our “what ifs” were more along the lines of “what if the baby doesn’t bond with us? what if we don’t bond with the baby?”. When V was born, it all went out the window.  We were disappointed that his mother did not want any relationship with us, but were instantly in love and had a hard time imagining how we had ever had a life without him.  He’s our son, and has been a calm and sweet child, always conducting little experiments and taking in the whole world.  While no person is perfect, and would not want to heap that expectation on him, it sure feels like our family is pretty damned close to perfection right now.

Why, then, do we want to even think about upsetting the apple cart, pursuing another adoption?  Like many biological or adoptive parents, we joke that since V has been so amazing, baby number two would be bound to be a total terror. *Note to future child #2, if you are reading this one day, we don’t mean you specifically, we mean it theoretically.  You’re awesome.

But…what if?

What if we are tempting fate?  After years of physical and emotional turmoil, we couldn’t have asked for a more healthy and happy child. Adoption is not for everyone. It’s demanding in ways we haven’t even begun to scratch the surface of. While it is amazing for us, it means that another child will be separated from the people who created him or her, and we certainly do not wish that on anyone.  What if a first family selects us to parent their child and wants an open relationship, and that hurts V because his adoption is closed?  What if…what if…what if?

Because of infertility and adoption, though, we’ve learned that regardless of how a family comes together, there’s so little we can control. Children can pass before their parents and parents can pass away far before their time. Kids can grow up to be generally happy or sad, because of or in spite of their parents. Parents can baby-proof an entire lifetime and still have their little one cry.  It happens, and our journey has taught me that.  While I wouldn’t wish infertility on someone, I would never want us to go back and do things differently.  Differently would mean that I wouldn’t be in the life I have now, and I love this life. I love my husband, I love my son, and I love our child that has not yet come into our lives.

What if where we are is exactly where we are supposed to be?

http://www.resolve.org/infertility101

National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW): www.resolve.org/takecharge

Read the other members of the blogroll are saying here: http://www.stirrup-queens.com/2010/04/bloggers-unite-project-if-part-two/

I wrote this great post up for today’s theme of Cooking Oil and/or Electric light source, but the internet ate it.  That plus Mr. Badger working nonstop for about two weeks (with at least three months more ahead of him) makes me tired. So you get me saying, “hi, go check out what everyone else is posting too”.  This is a shot of “Sputnik”, a fixture original to our 1951 home.

I’m so psyched that my friend Calliope is hosting Photo Fridays! Each week she’ll hand out a theme, and we get to share our work. This week, our theme is sinks. I used it as an opportunity to play with arty stuff. You can see my reflection in the bathroom sink:

And in this one, I played with color and perspective:

(Crossposted from our family blog)

With his double ear infection and stomach bug, we never got around to doing a 13 month post, so I’ll try to recall what he was doing a month ago as best I can.

From “What to Expect: The Toddler Years”:

At 13 months: 90% of toddlers can:

• Pull up to a standing position - Yes
• Get into a sitting position – Like he ever slows down enough to do that? Of course.
• Cruise (move from place to place, always holding on) – Does it count if he doesn’t even need to cruise at this point?
• Clap hands – He loves to clap to music or when something makes him happy
• Indicate wants in ways other than crying – By 12 1/2 months he was pointing and saying “This! THIS!” when he wanted something or to go somewhere.He can also sign “Thank you” “Eat” and “More”.

75% of toddlers can:

• Put an object into a container – Yup. he loves to stack his cups and put things in them, as well as using his shape sorting toys.
• Imitate activities – All the time. If we are brushing our teeth, he wants to as well, just as an example that we hope he keeps.
• Stand alone – Again, he doesn’t slow down long enough to just stand around.
• Use one recognizable word – “This” “Mama” “Dada” “Hi”

50% of toddlers can:

• Drink from a cup – Yes, though due to messes, we tend to give him a sippy cup or a straw cup.
• Use two recognizable words – Yes
• Point to a desired object – Definitely. He’ll even pick up my shoes and his coat and walk to the door if he wants to go outside.
• Scribble – He scribbled on the backdrop paper at his birthday photo session
• Walk well – Definitely

25% of toddlers can:

• Use a spoon/fork (but not exclusively) – He is so-so with spearing items, but loves to have us put food on the spoon or fork and then feed himself.
• Remove an article of clothing – Besides his diaper? Yes. He’s taken off his shirt.
• Point to one body part when asked – He can point to his ears, nose, belly, and mouth.
• Dump an object in imitation – Especially with cups of water in the bath.

At 14 months: 90% of toddlers can:

• Wave bye-bye – Cute story. When Daddy goes to leave in the morning, he puts on his jacket and grabs his briefcase. When he does this, Fred will purse his lips for a kiss, walk Daddy to the door, wave “bye-bye” and then close the door when he leaves.
• Stand alone – Of course.
• Put an object into a container – Yes.
• Use mama/dada intentionally – Yes.
• Follow 1-step verbal commands without gestures – Yes. This morning, I asked him if he wanted to ride his pony and he got up on his rocking horse all on his own.

75% of toddlers can:

• Bend over and pick up and object – Yes, easily.
• Walk well – Very easily.

50% of toddlers can:

• Dump an object in imitation – Yes.
• Use three words – “This” “Mama” “Dada” “Up” “Ck (for truck)” “Woof” “Ella” “Hi” “Cuh (sounding like an old man clearing his throat, for car)”

25% of toddlers can:

• Build a tower of two cubes – Yes, but he likes to knock the stacks down far more. He can stack legos about 5 or 6 high.
• Use six words or more – Yes, see above.
• Run – I’d say he walks very fast, and can get close to a run if he wants to, but doesn’t run solidly like one thinks of running.
• Walk up steps – Climb, yes. Walk, yes, if holding onto something.
• Follow a 2-step verbal command without gestures – I can’t say we’ve tried this.

Other notable achievements – it’s hard to list because he is learning new tricks every day at this point:

• He can climb up a few steps and then wiggle and inch his way down from about three steps up.
• We were cleaning out the attic, and when we looked away for a moment, he had climbed up two full rungs – as in his knees were on the second rung. Yikes!
• Speaking of climbing, he can climb on the coffee table on his own, and loves to “surf” on his rocking horse. He climbs up and then stands on it’s back while holding onto the head. Yes, we try to encourage him to sit.
• Knows up and down. When he was on the coffee table for the first time, we said “down” and he squatted and then “up” and he stood up, over and over again.
• Speaking of up, when he wants to go somewhere, he’ll stretch out his arms to us and say “UP!”.
• He can answer questions like “Where is Fred’s ear?” or “What does a doggy say?”.
• He loves being outside, and will make it known that he does NOT want to go inside if he is not ready.
• We have one swim class left out of 5, and already has been proclaimed to be “very advanced” by his instructor. He will jump into the water from the side all on his own (we direct him back to the side to get out), put his head under water and blow bubbles, kick his legs, float on his back (when resting his head on our shoulders), and even does a crawl stroke wit his arms!
• When he is ready for bed and we put him in his crib, he’ll take his blanket and wrap it around himself as he turns right onto his stomach from his back. He has a HUGE grin when he does this.
• He dances, stomps one foot, and/or claps when music is on or someone says “dance”.
• He clinks cups with us to say “cheers”.
• He loves going down slides.
• Though it does not thrill Roper, he tries to pick up the cat.
• At the park near our house, lots of people walk their dogs, and he always wants to see and touch them.
• He tries to put on our shoes, and usually can get one on enough to slide forward in it, while the other foot steps.
• When we are in the garden, he tries to help by spreading the mulch around as we do it, or pulling weeds with us. He also eats dirt, which is hilarious.
• When he is thirsty, he will walk to the fridge and hold the handle until we open the door to get his milk.
• He loves to give hugs and kisses.

That’s all we have time for today, tomorrow is a big day in our family – we finalize Fred’s adoption. Legally, we will be a forever family, though we have been a family since this wonderful boy was born.

Tagged by Bean:

You’re all tagged! Yes, you, reading this. You’re tagged. Now that you know more about me than you ever wanted to know, play the game, it’s fun! Let others know a little more about yourself, repost this as your name followed by “ology.”

FOODOLOGY:
What is your salad dressing of choice? Thousand Island
What is your favorite sit-down restuarant? Founding Farmers and their delicious Bacon Lollis
What is your favorite fast food restaurant? Noodles & Co.
What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of? Pasta
What are your pizza toppings of choice? Meatballs & mushrooms
How many televisions are in your house? Three, but we only watch one. There is one downstairs for when it turns into a playroom, and one in the guest room.
What color cell phone do you have? Black

BIOLOGY:
Are you right-handed or left-handed? Right
Have you ever had anything removed from your body? My wisdom teeth, a few moles, a tumor on my scalp, and my tonsils
What is the last heavy item you lifted? My son.
Have you ever been knocked unconscious? No
Have you ever fainted? No

BULLCRAPOLOGY:
If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die? No.
If you could change your name, what would you change it to? When I was a kid I loved the idea of Jodi, but I do love my name.  Good work, mom & dad! Even if I was named after The Bionic Woman.
How many pairs of flip flops do you own? 1
Last person you talked to? Mr. Badger

FAVORITOLOGY:
Season? Spring
Holiday? Thanksgiving
Day of the week? Saturday
Month? If November could be part of spring, It’d be infinitely better. Because it isn’t, I have to go with June.
Color? Purple, but not in excess.
Drink? Hot Cocoa
Alcoholic? Yes. Oh wait, what kind of drink? I love a quality Margarita.

CURRENTOLOGY:
Missing someone? Yes, my folks & bro.  Luckily, my dad’s coming in this weekend.
What are you listening to? Quiet right now.
What are you watching? Nothing right now.
Worrying about? Not much, honestly.  Curious as to why V was up twice last night with no fever, but I think it’s congestion and teething, so not worried.
What’s the last movie you saw? Inglorious Basterds. Aside from the gory bits, I actually liked it!
Do you smile often? Yes, but too often lately it’s an effort.
If you could change your eye color what would it be? Blue, or maybe a more green green.  It is cool that mine are green on the outside and hazel/gold at the center.
What’s on your wish list for your birthday? Ooh, that’s far from now. New clothes? I’m so bad about shopping for myself, so a gift card to get some nice stuff is always good.
Can you do a chin-up? No, never could, but I can hang for a while.
Does the future make you more nervous or excited? Excited, I think, but for the first time I am really able to live in today.
Have you been in a car wreck? No
Have you caused a car wreck? No
Do you have an accent? I don’t think so.  I left Philly with most normal speaking intact. I did say “wudder” for water for a while after leaving though.
Last time you cried? Don’t remember, but certainly within the past week. I am a cryer. I cry when I’m sad, mad, frustrated, etc.
Plans tonight? Sleeeeeeeep.
Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom? Yes.
Name three things you bought yesterday? Rubbermaid tubs to store V’s clothes, gravy for Mr. Badger to go with dinner, and a twix bar.
Have you met someone who changed your life? Yes, lots of people.
For the better or worse? In general, for the best. I don’t think anyone’s done irreparable harm to me.
How did you bring in the New Year? Out with Mr. Badger, my bro & his wife (to celebrate their anniversary) and my cousin & her husband.  We were up in NYC and enjoyed it mightily…until the next morning.
Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? Probably not. The past is done, and I am enjoying where I am today.
What songs do you sing in the shower? I don’t. Showers are zen time — I want quiet and lots of hot water.
Have you held hands with someone today? Not yet.
Who was the last person you took a picture of? My son.
Are most of the friends in your life new or old? Mostly new (relatively speaking)
Do you like pulpy orange juice? I used to, but now I like the low acid kind.
Last time you ate peanut butter and jelly? A few months ago, but I did have pb on an English muffin for breakfast.
What were you doing at 12 a.m. last night? Sleeping.
What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? I didn’t get enough sleep and hope V isn’t sick.